… A Parent’s perspective, experience, talking and action points
A MUST READ
Every day, a new crisis trends. Some of us can’t keep up.
I feel it’s important I comment about this issue for a few reasons.
- I took my kids out of Chrisland, I’ll share why
- Primary school chidden having sex is not new, is now a school’s fault?
- Who is responsible?
When people take to social media condemning schools and condemning parents, it’s always good to also look inwards, take a lesson or two and prevent what can happen to you too.
Why did I take my children from Chrisland?
I took my kids out of Chrisland about 10yrs ago, as you can guess they are way past that level now. I saw a few signs, added them together and decided to remove them. The truth however is that these challenges are not exclusively Chrisland’s, they are the problems of many schools. I am not throwing stones or shades at Chrisland exclusively, you can judge for yourself.
Three reasons
- Playing lewd music at children’s events. There seems to be no censorship on what music to play and what not to play where kids are present. My wife went for the kiddies event and couldn’t contain her irritation. She spoke up about it, and the head teacher replied that she should allow the children to have fun. A few parents also backed the head teacher up. That was strike 1.
• If you go for your children’s prize giving day, or inter house sports day, and they are singing – “This miliki for your front na for me, go down on me…”, and you are dancing and singing along, you and your children’s school are really working towards something.
• If your children’s school are organising dance competition, and you see the way the little girls are moving their bodies, and you think it’s just dance, then you are an enabling parent in an enabling school.
- One day went for open day to see my Children’s teachers and basically check up on my children. As I walked into the class and sat with the Teacher, we talked about a variety of things, but one thing struck me. The teacher congratulated me and told me well done for what I was doing to help my daughter understand maths better. This was clearly a compliment, but I felt a little offended. I felt offended that the teacher knew that I was the reason my daughter was improving in maths and not their teaching. I wondered what I was paying so much for.
- My wife was armed with point 1, I was armed with point 2. When we closed the session of primary 3 and my son was about to move to primary 1. We evaluated their school fees, and the efforts that we were putting in to train them at home ourselves, and decided we were paying too much for the service and values that was being offered. We reasoned that if we knew we were not paying much, we would pay more attention to our kids. So, we decided to move them to a very disciplined catholic primary school just 5 mins from the house. It was one of the best decisions we made, my daughter had 3 years to go, and my son had 6 years to go. It prepared them well.
Primary school children and sex
I don’t know if it’s naivety or hypocrisy. Please forgive me if it hits you. I don’t know why we are suddenly discovering that sex happens with very underaged people. Some children become conscious and active from as low as primary 1.
I attended University of Ilorin Primary school over 30 years ago. I went to school every morning in a bus provided by Federal Government College Ilorin, as there was where my parents worked. Going to school every morning was always a 1hr 45 mins journey from Ogidi to University of Ilorin. We drop of as many as 5 other schools before getting to University Permanent site where my school was.
These near two hours every morning was spent, playing, fighting and jisting. Some of the jist I can’t seem to ever forget, with the names of the students involved were stories of primary school students having sex with each other. One of the boys was in the bus with us, and he would boast of his many escapades. This was a time before phone and social media, but the descriptions were graphic and our imaginations more potent than mobile phones. I can still remember the names and surnames.
People become sexually active at different ages, and for lack of parental attention. All it takes is for one exposed person to freely interact with unexposed people, and the virus spreads. For some is the curious mind, for others it’s stumbling on uncles and aunties either doing something or watching something. For some it’s abuse.
I recall in my primary 2 having a spinster teacher Mrs AJ to protect her privacy. Every time Mr. AK came to visit her in class, they would go to an enclosed room at the back of our class. Far back as primary 2, boys will be eaves dropping to see if anything was going on.
30 years ago, children had access to lolly and Dauda the sexy guy. Today it’s worse! Tic Tok and twitter regularly feature phonographic content. Their quantity and quality of bad eggs is on the increase, if yours will miss it, it will because as a parent you are intentional and involved with your children.
Please calling what transpired between those children “rape” is attempting to call a dog a bad name in other to kill it. Chrisland has faults similar to many other schools. Let’s apportion the blame fairly.
Who is Responsible?
An old African proverb says it takes a village to raise a child.
Training children is partnership between the Parents. the School and the society they live in. The report card that just came out now is the results of parents and the school. My conjecture is that something has messed up these kids at home way before school. School has become a conducive environment for enabling the mixing of bad eggs and blank eggs.
Homes and schools ought to be a controlled environment, where children are shielded from some of the things that society offers. Society sings lewd songs with reckless abandon; the media is bursting with inappropriate age sensitive information that is uncensored. Parents and schools need to censor, and parent the children, when away from their real parents.
This Chrisland fiasco is at least 6 faulty parents – the girl who is the principal actor, the boys who had sex with her, the ones who watched while it happened, and the one who videoed it, and the ones who posted it online. The major fault lies with the school that leaves minors unsupervised – are they naive, stupid or careless?
Action Points
Many people commenting passionately online needs to find out what is happening with their kids. Let this be your nudge to have that conversation. What music are they listening to? What fantasies are they fanning?
Parents!! Check up on your kids’ school, and if it’s messed up, don’t waste time, you can withdraw your children from a school ahead of 3rd term. It’s better to have your child intact. I have a friend that collected his child from school in the middle of an ongoing second term. No time for rubbish I beg.
Chrisland, Chrisland, there is Chris in your name. It’s time to repent. You have been the object of some of these bad news lately. I remember a protege telling me that the teacher you have locked in jail for sexually molesting a 2-year-old was just an attempt to blame someone (possibly the wrong person) for a crime committed or not committed against the paranoia of an influential parent. The generation that started Chrisland unfortunately is not the one leading it currently, it’s time to rethink. The same message goes to all other secondary schools, many of these private secondary schools are in the same boat. These days it’s best to go to that school where teachers insult parents and are strict with the children. We are imbibing western nonsense and losing ourselves.
Selah